Life + Love + Relationships

Is there a Line Between Mentorship and Crippleship?


For 12 years years I worked for one of the largest telecommunication companies in the US. They offered a 6 month rotational mentor program where you were paired senior executives within the company.  The executives would be from all areas of business within the company (Mobility, Small Business, Sales, etc).  Along with the executive mentor, there were about 6 to 8 mentees that were also in your mentor circle.  For the next six weeks, we would meet to discuss our career goals, individual development, role play for mock interviews, and proofread our resumes.  After the end of the six weeks, you would get paired with a new executive.  This mentoring program allowed me to connect and network with employees from different entities within the company and give me insight on what I wanted my next career move to be.

How does mentorship look today?  I do have a few friends that speak about his or her mentors, but what about the millennials today?  There was a young intern that worked with me at my current job.  He had recently graduated from a big university and was ready to start his career.  He grew frustrated because the supervisor he was reporting to failed to give him the guidance and support he felt he needed.  I had to explain to him my view on mentoring.  To be a true mentor requires commitment and time that some people aren’t willing to give.  I notice on social media every day, people leaving comments on a celebrity’s or successful person’s page saying, “I am a (singer, dancer, artist, entrepreneur) Can you please check out my page?”  Social media has made it so much more accessible for undiscovered talent and new business startups to connect with people digitally, that we no longer have to carry a box of VistaPrint business cards hoping we would one day bump into our big break.

So what is a crippleship?  First off, I don’t even know if it is a real word.  A friend mine shared with me a statement that he tells his interns that want to be in music/showbiz, “I can teach you everything you need to know about this business, but passion.  Passion cannot be taught, you either have it or you don’t.”  He shared with me how different this generation is when it comes to “pursuing your dreams”. There may be some of you out there that do want the record deal, the senior level position, or the lead role on Broadway right now. Do you have the passion?  Are you willing to sacrifice comfort?  Can you handle rejection?  Are you willing to listen and learn?  If I possessed all the knowledge and experience on lifestyle blogging and a new blogger came up to me and said, “I want to start a blog, can you help me?” In my mind, the question “Can you help me?” can mean a couple things. For example:

  1. Can you send me some resources or information to get started?
  2. Can you look at what I have already started and provide your feedback?
  3. Can you create my domain and content for me? (Crippleship)

Are you the person that just needs a little push and motivation to get started on your goals?  Or do you just want someone to hand you the blueprint? (Crippleship) I would like to consider myself a person that pays it forward. I can’t wait for the day when Golden Girl Life blog is known all over the world and that new blogger sends me a message inquiring on how he or she can have a successful blog. There is nothing wrong with being the person that only drops a few bread crumbs of knowledge versus the person that holds a Master Class to teach a person the trade.  Always remember, regardless of what stage that we are in with our careers, we each had a starting point like me.  I am thankful for all 3 of my WordPress followers, 2 Instagram followers, and 8 Twitter followers.

When was the last time you paid it forward to someone in your trade?  Share your comments.

Golden Girl


When Your Version of the Best Isn’t Good Enough

How many of you have ever heard, “You are attractive, successful, independent, and have brains, so why are you single?”  In the mind of person asking the question, he or she may think that it is a logical question.  To the person on the receiving end, he or she may be screaming in the inside thinking “If someone asks me that question one more time!!”  So in what rule book does it say that if a man or woman possesses attributes of beauty, brains, personality, and success, that he or she should automatically have a life partner.  On the flip side, are you a person that believes because you possess these qualities, that you shouldn’t still  be single? Do you feel like the woman that got the proposal, the house, the kids, and the dream you have is because she “settled?”  I believe it’s important for us to look deeper in ourselves when we really want to answer the question, “How can I still be single when I have a successful career, I am attractive, charismatic, and independent?”  When the answer is, sometimes the version of what we think is the best, is sometimes still not enough to give us what we desire.  What if it’s not all the “awesome” qualities you possess that is preventing you from meeting your life partner, but the type of qualities you seek in your mate?  Each of us have a “type” that we are attracted to.  Take a moment and think about our past dating experiences with those particular “type” individuals. To my women that are still single, did any of your “types” result in a serious commitment, add value to your life, or teach you anything about yourself?

Bottom line, you could be a musician with the most popular album of year, it doesn’t mean you will win the Grammy for Artist of Year.  You could be the gymnast that won the All-Around competition in the Olympic Trials, it doesn’t mean you will win Gold in the Summer Olympics.  Finally, you can have the beauty, brawn, brains, success, and humor, but it doesn’t mean you will have a husband, a house, a family by age 35. (If those are your heart’s desires)

Do you know why you are still single?  Share your comments.

Golden Girl



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