One of the great Greek philosophers Heraclitus once said, “There is nothing more constant than change”, so I guess that means at some point, we may have to deal with a permanent break up in a relationship. Let’s be honest, sometimes that “we need to talk”, or “I need some space” conversation may happen a few times throughout a relationship before the relationship ends or turns into marriage, but nevertheless, it is still a conversation we all dread, whether we are the deliverer or receiver. One “pro” with having technology to deliver these messages now is that at least you can give yourself time to get your thoughts together for that later conversion versus before when you had to receive the information from a phone call and you have to deal with your emotions on the spot, in real time.
I was in a relationship before that went through the multiple “we need to talk” conversations. When I was the deliverer of the message, it resulted in him quickly turning the tables and saying, “I can’t do this anymore!” Huh? How did you end up having the last word when I started the conversation? (This is what I would say in my head). So why do we loathe having these conversations so much? On the flip side, when we are newly dating someone and we know there is no chemistry, we are able send that text message “You are a really nice person, but…”, with no hesitation. Relationship communication in 2016 has evolved so much from ten years ago. In 2016, a break up can happen without ever having to verbally talk to the person. Technology has eased the burden or anxiety for the deliverer of the message, so much so, that he or she can send the message, then BLOCK your butt so fast that they don’t have ever to see what your response would’ve been (Priceless).
Now let’s get into the meat and potatoes of this topic. So you sent the message, but why? For me personally, I prefer the unpredictable phone call. I believe when you are in tune with yourself, your partner, and the relationship, you should have some idea in your head as to what the talk is going to be about. It would infuriate me to no end if I knew what the conversation was going to be about, but I had to wait 8 hrs later from when you sent the text message for us to talk about it. Oh heeeeeck no! Don’t get me started if you are in a “Textlationship” (another word I made up). A textlationship is a relationship that only communicates conversation, feelings, and emotions through text. Yes, you may still go out in public, or not, and you do spend some quality romantic moments together, BUT, if you want to talk about how your day went when you’re not around each other, get out your texting device. In a textlationship, the “we need to talk” will always consist of long lengthy text messages back and forth that will eventually end with someone texting, “Take care”.
There are many reasons as to why these conversations have to be had. For example, you may just want your “freedom” back and be a single man or woman again. Or, you may be dealing with someone with too many insecurities that is has become too stressful for you to deal with any longer. Lastly, you may be in a ten year relationship that hasn’t progressed to marriage and a family as you had hoped and you are finally fed up and realize you are not a spring chicken, so time is of the essence. Whether you prefer to send your communications verbally or electronically, just be 100% honest as to your reasons for “the talk”. (If you can’t be honest, well.. we can discuss that for another blog post)
How do you prefer to communicate “The Talk” conversation? Share your comments